Authors- Watch Your Wallet!

I want to begin by saying, I am going to withhold names in this article in order to protect the guilty. I cannot stress enough that you should be very, very careful about "reputable" sites and companies offering you the moon, with bait and switch techniques that can really cost unwary authors thecash in their wallet.

I was recommended a company by a colleague I trust as a potential service provider I could work with.  The first warning sign was that my colleague had never actually used their services- they just thought the guy was nice and his concept solid. So I put on my journalism pants, and decided to talk to the CEO of XYZ company.

Here is the break down of what they provide.

1. The claim to be a literary agent. They are not licensed and they don't actually perform the duties of a traditional literary agent.

2. They offer a "crowd funding" site for authors. The way it works is this- an author asks their friends and family to buy pre-sale copies of their upcoming book. If the number of books reaches a certain level, then the company "pitches" their book idea to a certain level of "publishers". (I know I am using a lot of quotes, but there is a lot of terms they use that are suspect and up to their interpretation). The author must create the query, synopsis and proposal on their own which they post on the site.

The bottom level are self publishing companies
Second - Hybrid publishers
Third- Small publishers
Fourth- A few traditional business book publishers

3. It is up to the author to bring in the buyers of the book. The idea is if the author has a certain number of pre-sales, then a publisher will be interested in signing with them.

4. They charge 30-35% commission on those pre-sales. Yes that is not a misprint. They are not a publisher or a printer. They just feel that the use of their site is worth a third of an author's pre-sales. This does not account for what the publisher is going to charge the author to publish and print the book. This is off the top.

5. They take a 15% commission if the book is published. This was confusing because they said they did this in an early interview and then recanted this statement later.

6. None of the information I have provided so far is on their website. They want the author to pitch their book and then they make the offer.

7. They claim to work with high end publishers, but when asked which of their clients were picked up by those publishers, they would not respond.

8. They claim that a number of best selling authors have dumped their previous publishers to use their platform. When they say best seller- they mean Amazon Bestseller. There were a couple of authors that had been previously published, but as of this article, they either had not met their quota, or they were not picked up by a new publisher and had less than 200 presales. This is problematic for me as most publishers would have a 'first right to refuse' clause in their contract. The one conclusion I came to was that their previous sales did not warrant a new contract, or they were not interested in their new book.

Facts

• Agents usually only charge 15% on royalties.
• Established Crowd Funding sites such as Indiegogo and Kickstarter only charge 5-8% commission, and nothing thereafter.  

I had further concerns about the companies offerings: 

1. A number of the "small" presses are actually well documented vanity presses. Their response?

"Yes, we have vanity publishers on the site as options but that doesn't mean we suggest authors use them."

I could stop my article right here with that quote. 

2. Why are they located in Asia and marketing to US market with US publishers? 

3. In one of the campaigns to sell books I noticed that they were actually selling coaching packages and even a workshop in South America for $2400 (they counted that as 20 books). The way they stated they dealt with the money was that they gave it to the publisher for the pre-sales, or if the author decided to self publish, they would give them the difference minus their commission. I asked exactly how they were paying the authors for coaching packages, which they were counting as books and there was no response.  I guess I could bake my readers a cake and call it 10 books worth of presales. Yeah, my cheesecake is that good!

4. Why are they charging twice what a literary agent would charge.  Their response was, "...there is more value for authors because they take home more on a publishing deal through us." Not sure how that is true. 

5. I asked them why they charged 6 times more than what Indiegogo and Kickstarter charge. Their response was, "If authors don't want a publisher, they go use Kickstarter to raise funds." Again not close to true. 

Conclusion 

As a writer and ghostwriter, I get offers from companies constantly touting a book in a weekend, or a book in a tupperware bin, or just give us your IP and we will make you a best seller at 2:00 AM in the Turkish Language classics category on Amazon. 

I tell my clients, and now you my readers the same thing. Books are hard to write. They are even harder to get published no matter how you choose to do it. There is no short cut to success. There is no best seller formula except what I already stated- hard work. Throw in frustration, rejection, rewriting, rejection, lather, rinse repeat. 

There are legitimate companies that are assisting authors along the way. They are wonderful and help people realize their dreams. My advice is to ask questions. Tons of questions. If it does not feel right cut bait. If they cannot give you verifiable answers- thank them and leave. If they cannot give you real people that have had success with them to talk to, then keep looking. 

I will offer ANYONE reading this- if you have questions about a company- email me, and we can talk about it. If I don't have an answer I will work to find it. I will do this for free for you. I want people with great book ideas to have a chance to change the world of as many people as they can reach, without someone reaching in their pocket and stripping their wallet.

  

Using Quirks to Reveal Personality - Guest Post(Becca Puglisi)-

I’ve spent a lot of my writing career thinking about characters. Which ones do I vividly remember? What makes them so unforgettable?

One of the common denominators is that they all have at least one attribute that 1) I admire, or 2) draws me to them in some way. As a shy teenager, I fell in love with Anne Shirley’s vivaciousness—clearly expressed through her nonstop chatter. Every Christmas, I watch Elf and laugh my mistletoe off at Buddy’s socially awkward brand of innocence.

The key, I think, is to give our characters a quality that is admirable, likable, or somehow inspires empathy. Then we’ve got to show that positive attribute in a way that cements it in readers’ brains and leaves no doubt as to why they’re drawn to the hero. One easy way to do this is through the use of quirks—small, original mannerisms or habits that are unique to a character. While these are often randomly applied as a way of making a character offbeat or “quirky”, I’d like to focus today on how to utilize quirks deliberately as a way of showing your character’s positive attributes. Here are some quick steps on how to do this effectively.

Identify your character’s primary attribute. Maybe it’s a trait that will help him achieve his goal. Perhaps it’s one that matches his morals and values. Likely, it’s going to be one that drives his choices. Regardless of what you decide, his primary attribute needs to make sense in light of his history. His upbringing, core beliefs, profound past events—all of these things should play a part in determining who he is in the current story, so take them into consideration when choosing his stand-out trait.

Brainstorm actions that exemplify that trait. If your character is meticulous, what are some realistic mannerisms that she might acquire? Maybe she would obsessively clean (Monica Geller, Friends). She might count her toothbrush strokes and steps to the bus stop (Harold Crick, Stranger than Fiction). Perhaps she would make fastidious notes on post-its and stick them to every surface in her apartment (Dr. Emma Russell,The Saint). The cool thing about choosing a quirk is that the possibilities are virtually limitless. You just have to find one that fits with your character’s whole personality. Take note of her flaws, fears, and other issues, and make sure that her quirk fits her.

Use your quirk to show the attribute. Plenty has been said about the value of showing instead of telling in our writing. It’s the difference between someone saying that your new roommate is a little strange and you figuring it for yourself when you find her talking to her extensive ceramic bunny collection. When someone tells you something about another person, you hear the information, but it’s impersonal—until you witness it for yourself. Then you experience an emotional response. This emotion is what you want to evoke in readers, so instead of stating outright what kind of person your character is, show it through the use of a well-chosen quirk.

Use quirks sparingly. As with any other gesture or habit, quirks that are used too often become distracting. Choose fitting times for your character to show his personality so each instance has meaning and serves a purpose.

To wrap things up, I’d like to close with two examples of how quirks have been used to convey character personality. The first is an example of how not to do it.

A few years ago, I was a fan of the short-lived TV show Revolution—despite the main character. Charlie cried in every episode. It got so bad that my husband and I started betting on time slots to see when she would overflow. This mannerism of hers was completely overdone, and worse, it didn’t tell me anything about her personality. The writers must have gotten my memo because in season two, the waterworks were gone. The sudden departure shows that the constant crying wasn’t a true indicator of her personality anyway. This is a good example of a quirk that didn’t make sense for the character and was used haphazardly, without purpose.

On the other hand, the first time we meet Hermione Granger, she starts off her mostly one-sided conversation with Ron and Harry by informing them that she’s learned all the course books by heart and that all the spells she’s practiced have worked perfectly. Her bragging is a quirk that she exhibits fairly consistently; it’s a sign of both her intelligence and competitiveness but also of her insecurity. As the books progress, her bragging progressively lessens and eventually disappears—a sign that she has successfully navigated her character arc and no longer needs to prove herself. This is a great example of an effective use of a quirk to show a character’s personality. It also proves that quirks can be used to show not only positive attributes, but flaws, too.

For a handy tool to help organize each of your character’s quirks, positive and negative traits, habits and mannerisms, and other qualities, check out the Character-At-A-Glance resource at One Stop For Writers. You can find this and other helpful tools on the Templates and Worksheets page.

So many factors are involved in the making of our characters. While it's important to know the details about their pasts, sometimes a simple snapshot can provide a lot of insight. Use this spreadsheet to create an overall glimpse of the important characters in your story. You can then easily see if your characters need more variety, add conflict by introducing opposing qualities, encourage cooperation by adding harmonious elements, or even determine if a character is extraneous and should be cut from the story.

What do you think? What character quirks have you seen or read that were effective in conveying personality?

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling. You can find Becca online at both of these spots, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.

Ghostwriting Versus Collaborative Writing

Working with another writer on any project can be challenging. Both ghostwriting and collaborative ( co-authoring) have similar challenges in that they both require the writers to see eye to eye and be able work well together.

Ghostwriting- Write in another person's voice. They provide a manuscript based upon an author's writing, resource material and often heavily upon interviewing. The ghostwriter seeks to capture and match the author's voice.

Collaborative Writing- Tow or more authors work together as partners to create a book or even a script. They often chose different aspects of what each writer is responsible for. There is a unified vision and voice that is achieved.

Be mindful and decide early on each other's roles, boundaries, and outcome from working together. If you cannot agree on these points early in the process, it will fall apart later. It is not easy to ghostwrite or be a collaborative writer, it is a nightmare if your partner and you cannot work as a well oiled machine.

Just be you- Everyone else sucks...

Authenticity is key to all that we do as writers and in our writing. People know when we are bullshitting, so why do we do it?

Authenticity is a word that is not always understood and is often misused. We should always be true to who we are, because frankly that is the only person you can be. Unless you are Batman, then just be Batman.

We risk coming off as fake, or inauthentic when we attempt to be something we are not. I see people do this in the speaking industry all the time. They talk on subjects they are not experts in. Worse- they write books about it.

Writing a book does NOT make you an expert. That is being inauthentic, although I hear that comment all the time.

"Write a book and be an expert in your field."

Uh- you either are already and expert or you ain't. Writing a book does not MAKE you anything but an author. Being a good or bad author could be up to debate, but it does not make you an expert. I feel I am repeating myself.

A common challenge I have with authors is the following. These are ways NOT to be authentic:

1. Use someone else's ideas and claim them to be their own.

2. Use someone else's ideas and change the words around.

3. Quote other people A LOT.

4. Quizzes with claiming to determine a person's ( fill in the blank) type.

5. Assessments that are never tried on real living people.

6. Talking about neuroscience, when you have a degree in business.

7. Using White Label  materials (these are other people's writing you BUY and use as your own. We will talk more about that in later posts).

I could go on, but you get the point right? Write what you know- the cardinal rule of writing. Why do people forget this and write what they think is the next New York Times Bestseller. If you want a New York Times Bestseller write about two zombies who are into Bondage. Fifty Shades of The Living Dead. (You watch- someone is going to write that book now).

I am who I am. Like me. Hate me. Laugh at me. I am over it. I was a guy that looked like a football player growing up that liked musical theater and played the flute. I got over people's opinions of me a long time ago, and I have been happier and honestly MORE successful because of it.

Just be you. Everyone else sucks!

Year of the Ghostwriter

This picture is pretty much what my desk looks like.

Ha ha ha- not even close. I can't find my glasses, my pen is forever misplaced, books are tumbling and the are mountains of papers.

I live in the world of crawling around in other people's minds, grabbing their ideas and translating them to words on a page. I help people who want to write and publish a book become a part of the 2% who actually achieve this amazing feat.

In 2017, I have deemed it the year of the ghostwriter. I am taking my skills to the next level and am translating them through teaching and public speaking.

In addition, I am adding a daily video and blog post. My concept is to connect to writers and those who are looking for help writing through words, images and writing. Each video will have a blog post that accompanies it. The hope is that I will connect to people's unique learning styles.

Let's look at the weekly breakdown:

Mondays- Weekend Recap and Publishing Trends

Tuesdays- Business Concepts in Writing

Wednesdays- Collaborative Writing Lab (Ghostwriting Skills)

Thursdays- Publishing Tips

Fridays- Writing for Profit

I encourage everyone and listening to participate. Ask questions. Make Comments. Heck guest blog or be interviewed!

Let's make 2017 the year of not only the ghostwriter, but the year YOU get published.

La Plume ( The Pen that Writes): Rules of a Poetry Reading

La Plume ( The Pen that Writes): Rules of a Poetry Reading: I have been trying out this new thing- Poetry Readings. Well it is new to me, and I have had two simultaneous experiences- a respect and awe...

Rules of a Poetry Reading

I have been trying out this new thing- Poetry Readings. Well it is new to me, and I have had two simultaneous experiences- a respect and awe for fantastic writing, and the feeling of unrelenting pressure in my bladder.

I think I am just not hip nor cool enough for these beatnik-esque performances. After attending one this weekend, I decided I need to create a list of unwritten, yet important rules for those ignorant to workings of these sessions of emotional catharsis.

1. My experience prior to my recent leap into this literary form of performance art were two important sources- Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the movie So I Married an Ax Murderer.

Here is what you need to know about Adams treatment of the subject:

"Vogon poetry is, of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", four of the audience members died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own large intestine - in a desperate attempt to save life itself - leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison."

In my mind I compare what I am hearing to Vogon poetry, and unfortunately, much of what I hear does not pass this simple test. 

As to the Ax Murderer reference, I keep looking for the small jazz trio to be playing to the rhythm of the alliteration. I have been eternally disappointed. 

Woman, Whooooooaman 

https://youtu.be/Qae03boj7lU

Are these depictions of poetry readings fair? Yes.. yes they are.

2. Pee before you sit.  Many of these readings have libations- beer, coffee, and cider mimosas. What they don't tell you is that you need a catheter and bag strapped to your leg, because once the fun starts, you're screwed. You can't move, you can't breath, and for sure you can't get up and leave. You are packed in like sardines and you get these stares, mostly from the reader, because everyone else has their eyes closed as if in prayer, or a coma. Pee or be good at holding it. Don't be that person he gets up and has to crawl over those bodies.

3. Learn to close your eyes. There are apparently a couple ways you experience poetry. One is the blissful closed eyed I drank the Kool Aide look. Apparently you cannot experience poetry with your eyes. You must shut down all of your other senses, and go into a comatose state and experience it in your soul. I am still practicing this, however I am too paranoid that someone might slip something into my coffee or sip from my 12 dollar beer.

The second way to experience a poetry reading is to pick a spot on the wall or ceiling, and have the appearance of someone that suddenly passed away from an unexpected aneurysm. This makes sense considering the poetry could actually cause this to happen- refer back to rule 1. You have to have a vacant stare, and if you really want to show the love to the poet, allow some drool to dribble from your chin. It is the highest praise.

4. Don't cough, or sneeze and keep your breathing shallow. These are poetry readings not hospital emergency waiting rooms. Suppress that cough until they look up. You have to wait until the poet looks up because you will have no other indication that they are done.

BEWARE--- BEWARE-- SPECIAL MESSAGE

Be careful that the poem is not a collection of seemingly random collections of smaller poems. If the poet looks up, it could mean they have just finished part one in a eighty part series of poems. Nothing worse then letting go of a explosive cough or passing wind, during a pause. There will be no applause to cover it up. Just you making commentary through flatulence. It happen to me twice and I felt there needed to be a jar I had to place a 5 spot in as a penalty. Like some literary form of Simon says.

5. Know what to wear. This is so very, very important. You want to blend in. Find some old clothes with bright colors and patches. Except the patches should not cover the holes in your pants. Find shows your grandfather wore in the war. This goes for you ladies too. Cover your clothes with as many meme and politically charged pins as you can. Make sure nothing matches. And guys, you have to have a hat. No baseball caps allowed. You must shop at a second hand clothes store for one.

6. Booing for bad poetry is not allowed. Yeah I learned that one quick.

7. Clapping is encouraged, but snapping and leg slapping is also encouraged. Remember this is all art and expression. It is all brilliant.

8. Be ready to chip in when the plate is passed. No this is not a church donation plate, this is gas money for the poets to get home and have a little left over for a pint before they leave.

9. Bathing is optional. But is it really? Should it be?

10. Be ready the next time to bring your own poetry to share. This is like AA, eventually, it will be your turn to get in front of the crowd.

"Hi, I'm John."

Crowd "Hi John"

"I am a poet. I have been writing prose for ten days now."

Crowd applauds. They know a pro when they see one. 

"Today, I will begin with- Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning."

You'll knock them dead. Literally.


Have you ever had a really bad hangover, and swear you will never drink again and actually done it? Me either.

I know I will return to more and more poetry readings because I am by nature a masochist. To be fair it is not all bad, truly. There is a lot of brilliance in there. I just wish they would have those poems first, then offer a pee break. It's the little things.